The Order of Perpetual Indulgence will bless most things, including:

• Relationships
• Houses
• Pets

The photograph shows the then licensee of the Holyrood Tavern, receiving a special blessing from us for good work in raising money for World AIDS Day, and for making sure that HIV/AIDS awareness material is available in the pub. The extrememly high quality of the beer in this establishment did not influence us in any way!

The Sisters and Brothers will also take Boasting (similar to confession, but we make sure everyone knows what you've been up to), or perform the Laying On of Hands (which has resotrative powers), the Laying On of Lips (for contentment) or Laying (for relief).

Finally, for a surprisingly small sum, we will sell you an Indulgence, which frees you from guilt for all (consensual) sins and perversions (including chocolate) for any three days of your choice, or a Absolution with which you can renounce all guilt, past, present and future. This costs more.

Remember, providing hospitality to a Sister or Brother brings good luck!

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